Chorus: Josh Garrels
You fly in circles around my head
While I sit on the edge of my bed
I cry, oh, what have I done again?
It's hard not to hate who I am
It's hard not to hate who I am
Verse 1: Andy Mineo
I chase the moment that when I had it I felt alive
But now that the thrill is gone, I feel dead inside
I feel like everyone know the secrets I wanna hide
And everytime they ask me how I'm doing, I just say "I'm fine"
Too embarrassed to share it or maybe too much pride
I create my own prison, holding the keys inside
Punishing myself for all of these crimes
And I'm trying to convince God that I'm not a waste of His time
What's wrong with me? Am I defective?
I keep on making a mess
Why can't I ever get it together?
Soon people gon' find out I'm not what they expected
They see who I really am then I end up rejected
I try to stand tall, but these knees are collapsing
'Stead of asking for help these apps'll distract me
So lonely, but so many people are friending me
While I post, I hope one day to be happy as I pretend to be
Chorus: Josh Garrels
You fly in circles around my head
While I sit on the edge of my bed
I cry, oh, what have I done again?
It's hard not to hate who I am
It's hard not to hate who I am
Verse 2: Andy Mineo
Uh, I was thirteen the first time my momma caught me watching porn
She started screaming, she couldn't believe her last born
Was dabbling in something so destructive
I wish I could have said it was my last time, but nah, it wasn't
And the more I thought about it, the more I got bothered
These women I'm objectifying are somebody's daughters
I never really thought I had a problem till it followed me to college
And I felt debilitated by its bondage, uh
Became a Christian, heard about God's power
Couldn't see it in my life, but I could tell you all about it
Overloaded with knowledge, making so little progress
Became a public figure, but my struggles were in private
Only started tasting freedom when I'm being honest
And I learn that when I'm weak is when I'm seeing God the strongest
I know some people gon' be quick to throw stones
But I'll take all of those hits so you know that you not alone
And after 28 years of life, I decided
Everybody's crooked, some just do a better job at hiding it
Oh, how good does freedom taste?
I hope they give me the forgiveness they gon' need one day
I pray
Bridge: Josh Garrels
Jesus, He washes away all of my sin
Washes away all my sin
Jesus washes away all of my sin
Jesus, He washes away all of my sin
Washes away all my sin
Jesus washes away all of my sin
Jesus, He washes away all of my sin
Washes away all my sin
Jesus washes away all of my sin
Jesus, He washes away all of my sin
Washes away all my sin
Jesus washes away all of my sin
Jesus, He washes away all of my sin
Washes away all my sin
Jesus washes away all of my sin
Jesus, He washes away all of my sin
Washes away all my sin
Jesus washes away all of my sin
Refrain: Choir & Andy Mineo
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
He washes away all of my sin (oh)
Oh, oh, oh
Shame
Shame Song Meaning, Biblical Reference and Inspiration
The song "Shame" by Josh Garrels featuring Andy Mineo explores the deep, often hidden, struggle with sin, self-condemnation, and the path towards freedom and forgiveness. The opening chorus, sung by Josh Garrels, immediately establishes the central theme, portraying the feeling of shame as a relentless presence "flying in circles around my head." It captures the painful introspection and regret that follows actions perceived as wrong, leading to profound self-hatred and a sense of being stuck on the "edge of my bed." This feeling is overwhelming, making it "hard not to hate who I am."
Andy Mineo’s first verse delves into the experience of pursuing fleeting pleasures, the subsequent emptiness that fills the void once the initial "thrill is gone," and the crushing weight of secrets. The narrative highlights the common human tendency to mask inner turmoil with outward declarations of being "fine," driven by embarrassment or pride. This leads to a self-imposed isolation, a "prison, holding the keys inside," where self-punishment becomes a default response. The verse articulates the internal battle with feelings of defectiveness, the struggle for consistency ("Why can't I ever get it together?"), and the pervasive fear of being truly seen and rejected by others. The poignant imagery of collapsing knees despite trying to stand tall and using digital distractions to avoid seeking help paints a vivid picture of contemporary isolation hidden behind a facade of social connection, yearning for happiness while only managing to "pretend to be."
The second verse offers a specific, vulnerable confession, tracing a particular struggle from adolescence into adulthood. It illustrates how a private behavior, initially met with parental disapproval, developed into a persistent pattern ("nah, it wasn't"). The artist reflects on the moral implications of his actions and the realization that the behavior led to "bondage," feeling "debilitated" by its grip even as a college student. Becoming a Christian brought theological knowledge but initially lacked experiential power in overcoming this struggle, leading to a disconnect between public persona and private reality. A crucial turning point is revealed: freedom began to be tasted "when I'm being honest." This honesty, even about profound weakness, is presented as the space where God's strength is most clearly seen. Recognizing that vulnerability might attract criticism ("some people gon' be quick to throw stones"), the artist willingly accepts this risk with the intention of providing solidarity and hope to others facing similar battles, declaring that "everybody's crooked, some just do a better job at hiding it." The verse concludes with an appreciation for the taste of freedom and a hopeful prayer for mutual forgiveness, acknowledging the universal need for grace.
The bridge, led by Josh Garrels, shifts the focus dramatically from the problem of sin and shame to the solution offered within a Christian framework. The repeated phrase "Jesus, He washes away all of my sin" functions as a powerful, meditative declaration of cleansing and redemption. This section serves as the theological anchor for the hope presented in the song, articulating the belief that freedom from the weight of sin and self-hatred is found through the atoning work of Jesus. The repetition emphasizes the completeness and accessibility of this cleansing.
The refrain, with a choir joining Andy Mineo, echoes the central message of the bridge. The vocal layering and simple declaration "He washes away all of my sin" provide a communal affirmation of the truth expressed. This section reinforces the idea that overcoming shame and sin is not achieved through self-effort or hiding, but through acceptance of divine forgiveness and cleansing. It transforms the earlier feelings of isolation and despair into a collective expression of hope and release. The song, therefore, progresses from the raw, painful experience of shame and hidden struggle to the liberating power of confession and the redemptive grace found in faith.
The themes explored in "Shame" resonate with biblical concepts such as the universal struggle with sin and its consequences (Romans 3:23), the pain of inner conflict and the desire for deliverance (Romans 7:15-25), the fear of exposure and judgment (Proverbs 28:1), the importance of confession and honesty for healing and forgiveness (1 John 1:9, James 5:16), finding strength not in self-sufficiency but in acknowledging weakness before God (2 Corinthians 12:9-10), and the central Christian teaching of salvation and cleansing from sin through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:7, Hebrews 9:22, 1 John 1:7). The song openly addresses difficult realities while ultimately pointing towards a source of profound hope and transformation, offering solidarity to listeners wrestling with similar internal battles. Released on September 21, 2018, the song provides a candid and ultimately inspirational message about overcoming shame through vulnerability and faith.